Grief and Gratitude

Today is the day that I've decided to stop complaining.

I may be sleepy, un-showered and covered in drool, but it's because of the unbelievably joyful fact that I have a healthy, active, precious daughter.  Today I read another momma's blog, and my heart broke.  She told the story of the one thing I fear the most - losing her little girl.  She is burying her baby today. She talked about the unspeakable grief and the heart-wrenching process of picking out clothes and putting away pacis. I just sat here and held Sarah Claire and cried as I read it.  I've never been so grateful for my little girl.  

I have no reason to complain.  When I begin to imagine the pain that this family is facing today, I really see just how trivial it is to be upset over a messy house that I just can't seem to find the time to clean.  Reading this story gave me a new perspective.  I needed that.

Sometimes we forget to celebrate life, and we take for granted the tiny things that make our lives so full.  I want to stop what I'm doing and just absorb the moments that matter so much more than my to-do list.  Sarah Claire's personality is taking shape quickly.  She has little habits and traits that I love so much.  I think a list of these things trumps a to-do list any day of the week, so here it is:

1. When I walk into Sarah Claire's room after she wakes up from a nap, her cry turns into a loud laugh- almost like she knows she doesn't have to cry anymore, but she just can't stop making noise!

2. When I'm putting her to sleep, her little hand always reaches around my side and scratches my back.  It's the cutest thing.

3. If she naps in her carrier, the moment she wakes up, she furrows her brow and reaches up to "honk" my nose.  It's just her post-nap greeting!

4. She has two teeth, and they are so cute.

5. She has started crawling, but of course she puts a "Sarah Claire" spin on it.  She moves her hands, one at a time, and then hops both knees up together, like a little cricket.  I could watch her do this all day.

6. She has a jumper, but her legs don't reach the ground, so she just sits in it, pointing her toes and looking so short! (This lasts about 3 minutes before she's asking to be held again!)

7. She growls all the time. I honestly think she's trying to say "hiiii!" but it sounds so much like a growl!

8. She has learned to give kisses, but she'll only give them to me.  They're very sloppy, and so, so sweet!

9. She really loves certain songs.  Right now, it's Jewel's version of "Brahms lullaby" and Glee's version of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow." I listened to both quite a bit before she was born.  I think she recognizes them.

10.  If she wakes up at night and realizes that she isn't right next to me, she scoots back over.  She loves to snuggle.

There are so many more, but these are the first ones that came to mind.  She is such a blessing to me.

For those of you who need a new perspective, here's the link to the blog that inspired this one:
kandjstaats.blogspot.com

Please remember to pray for this family to have peace beyond their understanding and strength for the days ahead- especially today as they say goodbye to their Maddie.  I cannot imagine what they are facing.

At the risk of sounding like a bad "Chicken Soup" entry, I'll just conclude this post with a reminder not to wait for a reminder to drink in the joys of being a mother - or a daughter, sister, wife or friend.  Just make a habit of it.  I think we'd all complain a lot less if we did that.