Where are you going, my little one?

Sarah Claire has learned how to put herself to sleep for a nap.  I have mixed feelings about this.  Part of me is relieved- this is so easy! But another part of me is sad- she doesn't need me to bounce her or rock her to sleep.  The insane thought of picking her up and pacing the nursery with her actually crossed my mind, but I know better.  She is starting to be a little independent, and truthfully, it terrifies me!  While I admittedly am still adjusting to having someone depend on me to meet their every need, I have started to rely on this dependence to reassure myself that I'm not just anybody else to her.  I liked feeling specifically needed!  This is the ongoing battle of motherhood, I'm sure; I have a feeling I'll spend a lot of days (and probably a few blog entries) trying to explain the contradiction of emotions that I feel.  Right now it's gratitude that she feels secure enough to fall asleep on her own, mixed with a certain sadness that she can find security somewhere other than in my arms.  It's a good thing that she can- I know that.  It's just that I think this feels like the start of the whole "time flying" thing I keep hearing about.  I love that she is growing and changing; it's evidence that she is a normal, thriving little girl... this is just going to take a little bit of getting used to, to say the least! This is a small adjustment, but it's just a reminder to really live in the moment with her.  This isn't going to last, but I want to be able to really say that I enjoyed every minute of her infancy!