From Fearful to Faithful

Sarah Claire and I are leaving Mobile tomorrow and heading back to Chattanooga.  It's going to be hard to leave, but I am going home with a new perspective on... well, a new perspective in general.  My Meme reminded me that my home is wherever Christopher is, not in Mobile anymore.  I needed this reminder! It's hard to think of any other place as "home," but it's high time I start thinking of Chattanooga as "home." 

I went with my mom to BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) this morning, and I am pretty sure that somehow, the teaching leader snuck a camera into our house (and my heart) and spoke directly to me.  She taught from Isaiah, and she explained that faith and fear are incompatible. If i am being fearful, I am not being faithful.  As a new mom surrounded by studies and ever-changing statistics on SIDS and other scary things that can happen to infants, I have truly dreaded night time.  I have hated going to sleep, wondering if Sarah Claire would be okay through the night.  I have been terrified to fall asleep, because I have been compulsive about checking to make sure she was breathing.  I have been running on little to no sleep, not because she is a "bad" sleeper, but because I have neglected to believe that the Creator of the Universe- you know, the One who cares about the sparrows- would take care of my precious daughter.  Today I was reminded that I am not just being "overly protective" or simply "worrisome," but unfaithful. God never sleeps, and He is always, always, always watching over me (and Sarah Claire!).  He wants me to live in the freedom that this reality creates. I am not dreading bedtime tonight. I am looking forward to some much needed rest.  I am going to remember what we learned in Isaiah:"be careful, keep calm, do not be afraid, do not lose heart," and I am going to trust that Sarah Claire is in Hands far more capable and even more loving than my own.  

So, tomorrow I am going HOME, and I am looking forward to living faithfully, not fearfully (though I know it will be an ongoing battle).  I would certainly appreciate your prayers!